Sidney Crosby Arrested In Ottawa Last Night Even Though He Was In Colorado At The Time And Someone Made The Whole Thing Up

(Source) Ottawa police say there is no truth to a news report that Sidney Crosby was arrested in Ottawa last night. The Ottawa Sun reported that the NHL star was arrested by Ottawa Police on “driving-related” charges late Tuesday and had his fingerprints and mugshot taken. Sgt. Steve Hodgson of the Ottawa Police called the report untrue.

“This is a total, out-and-out blatant lie, as far as I know,” Hodgson said on Wednesday at about 6:20 a.m. Staff working at Ottawa Police headquarters early Wednesday morning had been on duty since Tuesday evening and would know if Crosby had been arrested, Hodgson said. “I just talked to a couple guys in the back doing reports and they’re like, ‘You gotta be joking. They’re laughing.’ It’s like, really? You think he could have been snuck in here and out and nobody would have seen him?” Hodgson spent a few minutes of his morning Googling the Pittsburgh Penguins centre to find out if he’s done any interviews recently that could indicate his whereabouts. “I’m trying to figure out where he actually is because we have no knowledge of this. We’re totally dumbfounded here.” Ottawa Police Chief Charles Bordeleau tweeted early Wednesday morning: “We have had no dealings with Mr. Crosby.” By about 7 a.m., the Ottawa Sun story was taken down from its site.

I don’t know why but this just fits. Of course Sidney Crosby got fake arrested in a city he wasn’t even in. Of course he did. That’s just a classic Sidney Crosby move. And it’s actually unbelievable that anyone believed this rumor in the first place. Sidney Crosby has never done anything illegal in his life. He’s never hit anyone on or off the ice. He’s never sped, he’s never even jaywalked. Use your brain Ottawa Sun, one time. It’s Sidney Crosby for christ sakes. You think this guy is going to commit a crime?

Fuck no. Crosby is a warm glass of milk and bed by 830 type of guy. The type of guy who threatens to sue when a bar fight starts to get out of hand. Or calls the cops when a neighbor is being loud after 10 pm. No chance he’s getting arrested for anything. He’s not a bad boy. Bad Boys punch cab drivers*, pussies get fake arrested for nothing.

*Hypothetically speaking of course, this has never actually happened.